Defensive Communication


i'm having a REALLY HARD TIME w the current energy. my eyeballs continue to overflow with alllllll of the emotion coming up and out. feeling lots of sadness, grief, loss. senses as if I'm letting go of my former self, the false associations and attachments -- all aligned with last month's Gemini energy.

giving myself permission to see things as they are instead of as I Am. holding deep space as the taste is smacked outta my mouth over and over again -- I've worn rose-tinted glasses as a defense mechanism (Venus conjuncts Neptune in my chart, and they square my Pisc Moon) and am being guided to get downright ferocious about where I've been "defensive" in the past.

certain defenses are there to protect, honor and empower.... others lend to subconscious manipulations and a false sense of security. I gather this is the impact of Mars conjunct Mercury in Cancer opposing Pluto/Saturn in Cap: Mars is the wounded, immature masculine; the aspect that hasn't had the capacity, desire, courage to hold space for the rising feminine; Mercury is the messenger, the communicator of the Zodiac, and represents the conscious, thinking mind. Cancer is about empathy, compassion, intuition, boundaries... Pluto destroys to create. Saturn wraps energy in the confines of spacetime; it limits, binds, discerns, and Capricorn represents the structure upon which our identities are built -- that structure is outmoded -- we've called it PATRIARCHY. 

I'm witnessing my desire (Mars) to speak up (Mercury) anytime I feel my boundaries (Saturn) challenged (Pluto)... when I do speak up, I am generally *very direct, my tone indicates the frustration I'm feeling, and I don't really give a shit whether who is receiving likes the way my message feels, appreciates the nature of the message, or even acknowledges 'the why' behind having established the boundary. what's most important is that I am vulnerable (Cancer sun), authentic and aligned when I share my thoughts and feelings. for a strong empath with psychic sensitivities, this is MAJOR. maaaaaaajor <3

and oh, btw, there's an eclipse July 2 at 10 Cancer.....

Lost In the Sauce


Saturday morning, i walked to a coffee shop by myself in Chicago. i enjoyed a delicious coffee and part of a Pluto class from a few weeks back... Pluto is about death, rebirth, transformation, surrender. He destroys to create and is quite prominent in my chart. i believe my Pluto affords the power to dissolve clients' outmoded ego structures.

either way, historically speaking, my sense of direction is flawed (nonexistent). i left the coffee shop, headed home and wandered for about 10 minutes before i started feeling confused and out of place. i didn't recognize the scenery... i felt lost, so i pulled out my phone to check the map, which doesn't help a whole lot when ya don't know north from south or east from west.

my phone had 1% juice remaining, so i took a pic of the map (HAHAHAH). then my phone died, and i started breathing deeply... feeling the confusion and fear and panic of being "lost" and unable to find my way home... all metaphors for the massive shift in consciousness i sense at this time.

i told my Self, my brain, my thinker, my ego wouldn't be able to make sense of what was happening.... it can't feel.. all it does is make up stories. my body; however, can! i decided i could trust my body and it's guidance system; i can trust my intuition and honor the messages i so clearly receive. i also knew i could ask for help and that i wasn't THAT far from the apartment.

i managed to fully surrender my process on the streets of Chicago, and i found my way home. i also found tall, dark, handsome firefighters to assist... and i cried when i found my Cousin and Friend waiting for me back at the apartment. hahaha... i'm also noticing that i'm feeling more confident about where i am, and which direction is best for me. whatta journey!!

i am BEYOND grateful to be out of Atlanta for today's Sag full moon... how are y'all experiencing the energy? i feel incredibly balanced and clear. wide. open. <3

June 7, 2019: Mars conjunct North Node, oppose Pluto and Saturn


this morning, a friend asked what was happening in the stars... apparently the humans are a little freaked out today.

Mars, the fiery planet of action, immature masculine, warrior of the zodiac is quite disruptive in Cancer; the sign of the crab: the Mother, intuition, compassion. this energetic signature is dualistic/polarizing in nature -- Mars and Cancer archetypes are essentially energetic opposites.

the Gemini New Moon set this month's tone, asking us to get into clear alignment with that which resonates as TRUTH for us... Mercury, the messenger, rules Gemini, the sign of the twins, duality, communication, and the throat chakra. I am being clearly guided to establish firm boundaries between myself and anything, especially anyONE whose values/messaging/way of Being/broadcasting in the world are not fully aligned with my own. authenticity and integrity are paramount.

I chant to Ganesha to help shore up my energetic boundaries and when I am having a hard time feeling safe in the world. (I'm pretty sensitive, Y'all.): Ganesh is the remover of all obstacles and unifier of consciousness.

Neptune, the planet of unconditional love, illusion, disillusion, dissolution is squaring Jupiter at the Great Attractor; a gravitational anomaly that senses like a super-duper Pluto, destroys to create, and also simultaneously emits/consumes its own frequency.

Mars, the immature masculine, is juuuust about to kiss the North Node of Destiny (in Cancer), the point to which the Collective Soul seeks to evolve at this time, while opposing Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn. Saturn is about boundaries, karma, limits, confines of spacetime, and Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, Mr Transformation; they are conjunct the SOUTH Node...

it's like the ego structures that held victim consciousness/patriarchy in place to repress the feminine are being sucked right outta the collective psyche causing tiny subconscious implosions. subtle ego deaths. at the same time, Neptune is offering support to the S Node/Pluto/Saturn, infusing the collective heart, Pisces, with transpersonal love and also overwhelming our humanity with emotion.... all the while, Cancer is illuminating the masculine there at the Node so he might evolve with more compassion, care, nurture, in balance with the feminine.

....the duality/illusion of separation is amplified. communication becomes emotionally detached, cold and aloof in its shadow expression. lots and LOTS of projection, disillusionment, and frazzled nervous systems out there. the advice is to stay focused on the Self. be diligent, deliberate and intentional about staying in alignment with the Being you are in this moment.

#presentsofmind #planetaryalchemy #starchannel #astrology